May 2013
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In our discussion of our distaste for an all-salad...
My friends and I imagined a movie in which a former Navy Seal takes his stand. A stand against a country that’s willing to charge hard-working people $9 for lettuce and oil. A stand against the evil Vice President’s plan to subsidize the lettuce industry. A stand for every meat-eating man, woman and child in America.
He snaps and holds an entire salad restaurant hostage. Only the police force’s...
PMS jokes are just not funny
donschaffner:
merlin:
tj:
sarkastickunt:
pocketcontents:
awordoraline:
macalien:
period
They give me a headache.
Cramp my style.
They’re just not bloody cool.
Quit ragging on me.
Now you guys are just padding this.
You guys are hysterical.
I wanted to make a joke but worried it would break the flow.
your monkey called: My Million-Dollar Problem →
yourmonkeycalled:
A few years ago I gave my son a million-dollar bill. I bought it from the back of a comic book sometime in the 80’s, and I thought he would get a kick out of it. To my surprise, he got way too much of a kick out of it: he believed it was a real, actual $1,000,000.
And because I’m a bad dad,…
I AM DYING AND THIS IS THE REASON WHY
“You’re not made of sugar and shit rolls downhill. It’ll be fine.”
– My mother, on the proper reaction to rain on one’s wedding day.
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Wedding Cocktail?
Anybody got a good idea for a wedding cocktail? Looking for something light, maybe fizzy, a bit fruity, and potent.
April 2013
41 posts
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"Drunk at a Freakout"
The Joan Harris Story
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“I dont’ know why, but right around April 19, everything goes to Hell....”
– My Mom, yesterday, when discussing this crazy-ass week we’ve had. I pointed out that this was also the week the VT shooting happened in 2007.
It might be a Poisson cluster or something. I dunno. But this week, man. What is it about this week?
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Boy, that Patton Oswalt
One minute, he’s writing a sweet, heartfelt tribute to true human kindness; the next, he’s filibustering the Background Checks Bill.
[I may have only been half-listening, I dunno.]
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John Hodgman: ALEXANDRIAN VIRGINIANS! →
hodgman:
Paul and Storm and I will be returning to the Birchmere on May 3.
This show will feature COMPLETELY DIFFERENT COMEDY from our last visit in February of 2012, and also my appearance in deep Maryland in April.
IT WOULD BE NICE TO SEE YOU.
Details are HERE.
If you have a DC/Alexandrian…
Should I create a small newspaper just so I can interview John Hodgman? I should,...
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“Jonathan’s improvs on “Mork & Mindy” were legendary. People on the Paramount...”
– Robin Williams remembers Jonathan Winters
mattanapkin asked: Hey Jimmy! Just checked out your stuff and it's wonderful. If you ever have the time/inclination to draw a Guest Napkin it would be my pleasure to include you. Some nice people have done 'em... you can see it on my Matta Napkin site. If you're too busy I totally understand. Respectfully, John
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To A Fishstick Dying Young
As we near the inevitable conclusion of You Look Nice Today, my feelings become too much to bear. And when that happens, you get poetry. What follows is my lament for one of the greatest podcasts of all time.
Where now is Tang Tang and rider, my son?
When comes the train to Dubai?
Where is that baby, ‘twas riding a dog?
The butler ‘twas only knee-high?
Where at last landed Joey Nicklepuss,...
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